3/20/01 - 1:27 PM
I had a dream this morning.
Not the sleeping kind.
I had a waking dream.
I had a waking dream stretched out in my bed, trying to decide if I wanted to get up. My alarm hadn't gone off yet and I still had time to indulge myself in this waking dream. I wouldn't have minded a sleeping dream, but I was too awake to try to go back to sleep in the ten minutes I had before my alarm would start blaring Drivin' 'n' Cryin'.
In this dream, I was safe.
I was stretched out across the chest of my mate. Neither of us were completely awake. It was nice.
In this dream, I was covered from head to toe in soft, auburn fur. I had pointed ears, retractable claws. I had a ring of silver around the outer edge of my blue eyes. I had a tail sprouting from the base of my spine, also covered in the same soft, auburn fur...only much more of it. My tail was swishing slowly over my mate's legs.
In this dream, my mate was also covered in fur. He had pointed ears, retractable claws and a tail. He was the same species as myself. He had his arms around me and was purring, that lazy kind of purr that's so inducive to napping on Sunday afternoons.
The way we were lying could have led to sex in other situations, but we weren't interested in that this morning. We were more interested in just lying together, purring, and being lazy. As I lay stretched out against his chest, I could rest my cheek on his chest and listen to his heartbeat and his breathing. His purring was coming from higher up, in his throat, but I could hear that, too. He was calm, happy, content, just as lazy as myself.
And he loved me. We didn't have to exchange words for that to be evident. He was ruffling his hands through my fur and I could almost hear his voice whispering, "I love you." And hearing that was enough to make me want to stay where I was forever. For the rest of our lives, I wanted to stay close to him, in his arms, where I felt safe and comfortable.
He was my mate. Bonded so close to my heart that to be without him would cripple, maybe even kill me. If he left, if he died, I would die of grief. In his purr, I could hear his love, his words that I matter to him.
Did it ever happen? Could it have happened, in some far-distant life? Maybe. I don't know. But I know this dream is so close to my heart that it resurfaces nearly every morning, every night as I curl up in my bed and wait for sleep to come. Every night, I sleep in my mate's arms.
Lying in my bed, feeling the last vestiges of sleep fading away, hearing my stereo finally kick in to 'wake' me up, I'm back in my body. I'm little more than an overweight ape-girl, clinging desperately to a spotted body pillow.
And wishing for more.
